McGonagall's Adventures
by LilMissDarkMind
Summary: written for Voldyismyfather's mistletoe kisses challenge! Category: Teacher Pairing.


McGonagall's Adventure's

It was a sad and gloomy morning for Minerva. The one man she couldn't stand from her childhood had gotten a job here, where she worked! This was her territory. It had been for the last 30 years. There was no way she was letting that bloody over vain thing ruin her year. It was bad enough that he had tormented her throughout her first five years at Hogwarts! Although he was a Ravenclaw and she a Gryffindor he still found ways to bug the living daylights out of her.

"well, ill just have to watch him and make sure he isn't being a menace" she said as she walked around her chambers getting ready for the day.

When she had finished getting ready she walked down to the great hall and sat near professor Sinestra and babbly(ancient runes), she knew Lockhart would most likely try to sit near Severus and Albus and sucker them into believing one of his utterly false stories. She was just glad that Albus would always see past the charade and Severus wouldn't last long before calling him out for wrong statements. She would pay to see Severus lose his temper at that dunderhead of a person.

"Good morning students!" Albus said cheerfully, that man really had no other emotions, well.. mostly. "I'm sad to say that our defense against the dark arts teacher had to leave last night due to some personal issues, however-" then there was a loud banging noise and yellow smoke filled in the middle of the great hall. When it was gone there stood the dunderhead.

"ah, just the man I was about to introduce, this is professor Lockhart and he will be the DADA teacher for the remainder of the year." Minerva almost chocked on her apple cider- the whole bloody year?

"thank you Albus." He flashed one of his sickening smiles "yes I, the most amazing man ever, is gracing you with my presence" the few Slytherin's who were paying attention snorted along with the Gryffindors and Ravenclaw's. The Hufflepuff's just had the 'whatever you say' sarcastic look.

She had finished her breakfast- or as a better word choice, lost her appetite- and so she went to work on planning for the next days lessons.

Gildroey Lockhart was indeed sitting by Albus and Severus during breakfast but his gaze keep falling upon Minerva. He watched her as she pushed her food away and began to walk out of the hall. After she had left Lockhart had fancied enchilada's for dinner and decided to tell the elves during his free period, it was suppose to be set aside for planning lessons, but he had himself memorized so he'd use it as he pleased.

The first two classes for him passed by rather smoothly, but his third class was one he'd been anticipating. He got to teach Harry Potter! After that class he would inform the elves he wanted enchiladas.

Since it was his first day teaching and he couldn't get the students to buy his books, he would graciously give a pair of them the seven books that were required. He would have to let them have the open-book quiz. That was a pity.

Minerva had finished teaching her sixth years about turning utensils into birds when she walked down the corridors to the fruit bowl painting. She tickled the pear and was granted access. She went over to her favorite house elf and said "Mouse, can you make garlic chicken with broccoli, carrot slices and corn for dinner tonight?"

"Oh, Miss Minerva, mouse would like to, really mouse would" mouse said shaking her head "but mister blonde man has already asked for enchiladas. Mouse will make garlic chicken with the veggies tomorrow night, she would!"

"all right thank you" Minerva responded. She was mad. How _dare _that man prance around the place like he owned everything!

"oh, Minerva. Well, aren't you looking just dandy" 'speak of the devil' Minerva thought.

"Lockhart, just because we are colleagues, it doesn't change the fact that you are a bloody dunder-headed git!" Minerva said fiercely "you are so full of yourself! For your information, not every woman swoons for you. You even repulse some woman to the need of vomiting at the mention of your freaking name!" she stormed from the kitchens and was going down the corridor when she heard from behind her "your still as fierce as the lion, aren't you my precious tabby? And your listening to Severus now Minerva? Dunderhead? Really?"

Lockhart walked the opposite way and Minerva, fuming, took shape of a cat.

It had been eight months since school started, and six since that waste of space had come to claim the role of "teacher".

There were still times when Lockhart would intentionally piss Minerva off. Like a few weeks ago she had been talking to Hermione granger about how wonderful her work had been and that Hermione really had a bright future when Lockhart had came over to them. He said "Hey granger. What's up tabby?"

ooh that boy really knew how to grind her gears. He probably knew where all of her buttons were too.

Just a little longer and hell be gone. She keep repeating that to herself while she was hanging holly, when he rounded the corner and she must have said it out loud because he smirked at her.

"Tabby, you glad Christmas is coming up? And don't worry, ill be here as long as I'm alive so don't hold your breath Hun."

"I've had merrier Christmas times" Minerva said "you need to stop flirting with me, I hate your damn guts, straight to the core you big poser"

"ooh ouch. That hurts Minerva. Can you kiss it and make it feel better?"

Minerva said some words that she had only said once in her life, when she saw her best friends boyfriend beating her friend.

"… and you can stick that in your juice box and suck it!" she slapped him across the cheek and said "take that to the bank you #$#!"

He grabbed her wrists and put them above her head.

"I like feisty minx's" he said kissing her. She of course wasn't expecting that and was frozen for about four seconds when he looked up and said "oh, hey mistletoe" then kissed her again as she bite him.

"ow! Mother of Merlin! Why'd you bite me?" she punched him square in the nose.

"DON'T YOU EVER PUT YOUR BLOODY HANDS ON ME AGAIN! AND IF YOU EVER ##%&$ KISS ME AGAIN I WILL AVADA KADAVRA YOU UNTIL YOU'RE A PILE OF CHEAP PLASTIC" Minerva screamed while kicking him in his balls. "I WILL KILL YOU"

Of course the screaming had everyone who was in the library, including harry Ron and Hermione, and Dumbledore had been going to see Hagrid for some more lemon drops.

"professor! What happened?" Hermione asked Minerva

"Minerva? Why is Lockhart on the floor?" Albus added.

"because that- thing tried to kiss me, he basically assaulted me!"

"…and that is how Minerva became mine" Lockhart had lied to his fifth years.

"whatever Lockhart" Minerva said as she stepped into the class room "you always were a big pathetic liar. Either way your time to prove yourself has come. Albus, potter and his gang need you in myrtles bathroom"

"Gildroey! Your time has come to have more adventures!" Albus greeted him "harry Ron and Hermione need assistance down in the chamber of secrets."

As Albus and Minerva predicted he started with reasons of why he couldn't. but Minerva had finally found a way to get ride of him and pushed him down the hole.

"You think he's coming out whole?" Albus asked her

"I really hope not" she said smiling devilishly

* * *

Teacher Pairing


End file.
